week.nine

 
How far along? nine weeks, four days. if you want to be specific (:

Total weight gain: i am actually losing weight. 

Maternity clothes?  none. my clothing is fitting quite comfortably. 

  

Sleep: i seem to be sleeping like a rock. that is, if mark doesn't snore. i still find myself sleeping on the couch more than in my own bed. why is the pregnant, sick lady the one sleeping on the couch, anyway!?  

  

Best moment this week: to be completely honest, it hasn't been a very good week. i'm lucky if i sit up without getting sick. so, maybe the best moment of the week was actually getting the doctor to fill a prescription for zofran. day one and it seems to only provide relief for a few hours, but, i'll take whatever i can get. on monday they are testing me for a possible underlying autoimmune disease that could potentially be contributing to the severity of my sickness. in addition, they are keeping an eye out for dehydration and whether or not i may have Hyperemesis Gravidarum. i feel your pain, princess kate. ALSO, finally getting our house on the market. i totally forgot about that one. with tons of help from mark and his family, our house is officially for sale. i can't describe how excited i am about that one. well, as excited as one can be while living in the bathroom for most of the day.

 

Miss Anything?  my family. it was so comforting and just plain good for my soul to be with them over the holidays. it killed me to leave. killed. wahhh. 

         

Movement:  none.        

Food cravings:  ewe. none. i seriously don't remember the last "meal" i have eaten. it's been about 3 weeks now. everything i eat/drink comes right back up. i have managed to eat a few handfuls of fruit loops today without getting sick, though. i guess that can be considered progress?  

 

Anything making you queasy or sick:  everything. yep, just about everything. sitting up and walking around seems to really be a problem for me. no way can i lay on my back without getting sick. 

Labor Signs: none.

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time: super emotional. so.very.emotional. i am crying about everything. mainly about feeling guilty for not really being able to play with or take care of ainsley. i feel like a bad mommy. i am also being extremely irrational recently. it's quite funny after the fact, but in the moment, not so much. can you say crazy? (: 

Looking forward to:  getting my next ultrasound on monday. it will be nice to share the moment with mark since he hasn't gotten to see the baby yet. 

week.seven

How far along? seven weeks.

Total weight gain: i do not want to pay attention to the scale. you can thank past body image issues for that. i just ask the doctor to tell me if i'm not gaining enough or gaining too much. if i hear a number, it triggers something very unhealthy in my mind.

Maternity clothes?  none. i just realized the other day that most of my maternity clothes from ainsley are fall/winter clothes. i will probably have to buy some summer clothing this time around. 

Stretch marks? none. and none from the first pregnancy.        

Sleep: i don't think i am as sleepy this week or as much as i was with ainsley. i remember falling asleep while eating or in mid-conversation. this time around, i seem to have a little more energy...so far, anyway.                

Best moment this week: after a big scare, i called the after hours emergency line and they scheduled me to come in for an ultrasound the next morning. the greatest moment was seeing my little one for the first time and hearing that he/she is healthy and doing great. what.a.relief. i hope my scares with this pregnancy are over.

Miss Anything?  food. coffee.                 

Movement:  none.       

Food cravings:  ewe. none. food is completely uninteresting and nauseating to me. mornings are the worst. i feel bad for ainsley. it takes me awhile before i work up the nerve to fix her breakfast and lunch. thank goodness for daddy who makes dinner so i don't have to fight the urge to throw up.       

Symptoms: extremely nauseous. all day. every day.     

Anything making you queasy or sick:  everything. especially when i open the refrigerator. i even threw up while taking the dogs for a walk. some men that were fixing up the house next door even came over to ask me if i was okay. how.embarrassing. i'm sure they enjoyed my response of, "no, i'm not sick, i'm just pregnant. sorry."

Labor Signs: none.

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time: i have been really happy. yesterday, i was a little cranky. i think it's because i know i have so much to get done, but i'm too sick to do much of anything.    

Looking forward to:  my next appointment. jan. second. i think i just need affirmation that everything is still going well and that baby r is still doing great. i'm nervous!

week.six

How far along? 6 Weeks

Total weight gain: Unknown. Although my pants are fitting a little better, so maybe I've lost some?
Maternity clothes? None
Stretch marks? None
Sleep: I would be sleeping great if Mark didn't snore. I think I have officially become the wife that sleeps on the couch because her husband won't stop snoring.
Best moment this week: Searching for our new home, which has also been stressful!
Miss Anything? Coffee. So bad.
Movement: None
Food cravings: Surprisingly I have none so far.
Anything making you queasy or sick: So far, so good :)
Gender: Unknown
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: So tired. Some back pain. I also feel like Dolly Parton.
Belly Button in or out? Normal.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: I have been super happy. Today, not so much. I am a major bitch today.
Looking forward to: Spending the holidays with my family!

the secret is out...

the little family of 3 will soon be a family of 4 (well, at least four anyway)!

so, to add on to the busy time of mark accepting a new job, selling our house, buying a new house, and moving...we've decided to throw having another baby into the mix. do we have to keep this level of excitement up forever!?  :)

seriously though, we are so over the moon excited about this! we kept waiting for the 'best' time to start trying. we weren't quite sure when that was. and i swore i didn't want to become that couple that scheduled sex into our calendar. so, for the month of november we decided to see what happened. never in a million years did we think it would happen so soon!

we went to the doctor and established a due date of 08.06.13. a summer baby! and i'll get to see our little sweet thing on 01.02.13.

we broke the news to our family and friends with this sweet little picture:

and i've also decided to keep a little weekly diary journal of my pregnancy. here is my entry for week five:

weekend fun & 2x4 stocking holders

this weekend was full of fun and surprises. i think mark and i have officially determined that our family motto is, 'go big or go home.' each year together, we seem to experience several life moments all at the same time. this year is proving to be just the same. but, i wouldn't have it any other way.

mark has been offered and has officially accepted a new job in staunton, virginia. hopefully beginning at the end of january, he will be the new guidance director at the high school he graduated from. i am excited about this new change. i think we both agreed that we needed a new, fresh start somewhere. neither one of us are really thrilled about where we live now. we love our friends that have grown to be like family, but it never quite felt like 'home' to us. we're more than ready to find our place. a place to raise our family.

so, now comes the potential of searching for a new home AND selling ours at the same time. eek! it's both exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. since i am staying at home this year, our price range is significantly low. we are able to afford the mortgage we are paying now, but we have to wait and see what mark's salary alone will qualify for. the first time we searched for homes, i never fell in love with any of them. the very first home we looked at, i fell in love like. we put an offer on the home, but lost it to a CASH offer. seriously!? i still drive past that house when i drive through culepper. sigh. after that, nothing ever compared. mark fell in love with our current home, but i have to be honest...i hate it. always have. and i am so ready to move!

with the excitement of starting over in the home department, i have been looking online for homes in staunton. for the most part, they are disappointing. it is definitely a less expensive area than we live in now, but the nicer homes in our price range are in the most absurd locations. until linden drive. ahhh, linden drive. i love it. this is the first time i have been excited about a potential home. it's beautiful. the layout is exactly what i'm looking for. there's a yard. a fenced in yard. the home is officially move in ready. we wouldn't have a single project to do (unless we wanted one). it's got tons of storage. no carpet. a bathroom in our bedroom that can provide relaxing moments. yes! sign me up. we shall see :)

so, that's we are right now. and i'm happy and hopeful about the future.

because mark loves me, he let me have a craft day on saturday. i'm not much for decorating the home for every holiday, but for ainsley, i'm trying. i wanted to get our mantle ready for christmas (even though we won't even be in our own home christmas morning). we have beautiful stockings, but no hangers. so, my project for the day was making stocking holders.

and here they are:

they were super easy to make, but they were also time consuming. i had all of the materials laying around except for the hooks.

materials:
1. six 5.5” pieces of a 2x4
2. mod Podge
3. holiday scrapbook paper cut to the sizes of the 2x4's
4. paintbrush
5. wood glue
6. 3 medium sized versa cobra scew in hooks [i wanted to find silver, but they only had white]
7. sticker letters
8. drill and drill bit for making pilot holes

after cutting the  scrapbook paper to the desired size, you will mod podge it to the piece of wood. i have found that applying the mod podge LIGHTLY onto the piece of wood helps to ensure no bubbles occur after applying the paper. once the entire block is covered, allow some time to dry. once dry, you can go over the entire block with mod podge for an extra seal/top coat cover. once completely dry, add your sticker letter to the front.

to add the hooks, you need to find the center of the block. you can do this by using a straight edge. make lines connecting the corners of both pieces. the 'x' marks the center. drill your hole and screw in the hooks.

and you're done. easy peasy.

i just love our stockings :) 

here's a picture of some of our other goodies displayed on the mantle. my daughter is obsessed with the the glitter ornaments. i personally love my tinsel tree [made from a cereal box]. the other tree is made from twine and has the cutest button topper. 

 now, to get my christmas shopping done this weekend

i.heart.naptime

this year has been a wonderful year so far. i've taken off the year as a special education teacher to be at home with my daughter. i think that most people decide to take off the first year of their child's birth, but to be quite honest, my husband and i couldn't quite get our shit together that soon. so, at the end of last school year, we took a leap of faith and it was the best decision ever! sure, before the paycheck even comes we're broke, but mo money, mo problems, right? [may biggie smalls rest in peace] :)

with that being said, ainsley turned two in november and i swear a light switch went off. holy.batman.temper.tantrums. some days i don't even recognize my own sweet girl. and some days i seriously think she spends the entire day in time out. and those are the days that i think something might be "wrong" with her [whatever that means]. and those are the days that as soon as mark gets home, i run away for a few minutes to have some "alone" time [i say "alone" because that ultimately results in not having alone time at all].

to deal with the frustration of a terrible two year old, i have been dedicating more of her nap time to a little craft therapy. it seriously helps to clear my mind and calm me down. after the wedding, i've gone through a lot of my craft stuff to organize and store away. for this particular nap time i found some unused fabric from the wedding and three embroidery hoops.

there's a wall in ainsley's room that needed some attention. it's what you see immediately as you walk into her room. i never knew what to do with the empty wall. her room is small and in an awkward position in our house. there really isn't enough space to get a decent picture of her room an a whole. but, i think you get the point! i think it's super cute and a way to use materials i probably wouldn't have used before. i may add to it in the future, which will hopefully be in a new house entirely :)
.

and there's a little picture of my sweetness to end the post. this face says it all. she is definitely looking for some trouble to get into :) but, i still love her. lots. just like she loves "lots of cereal." and "lots of grapes." and "lots of candy." that is her response when you ask her how many of a certain item she would like. it's super cute.

...two years of perfection

i've been sitting here staring at the computer screen wondering how to put my thoughts into words. i am not sure there is enough room or enough words that would adequately describe how much my life has changed since the moment ainsley entered my life.

though, one thing i know is certain: the light at which she shines ever so brightly...even in my darkest moments and worst of moods, i can see beauty and love.

as my sweet little girl turned two, i have been amazed at watching her vocabulary grow exponentially. when people hear ainsley speak, it is almost with 100% accuracy that they will comment on how well she speaks for her age. there are many moments in life that i find myself talking with her like she is already an adult and forgetting that she is only two. she amazes me.

some of my favorite ainsley-ism's:
1. when she makes a mistake and says my bad.
2. she loves pointing out things that she thinks are humungous (did i even spell that right?)
3. she wants to watch mickey mouse for just a little bit and then i take a nap.
4. how she wants just ONE treat. just ONE mom. as she, very passionately i might add, displays her little index finger to model exactly what 1 looks like.
5. how she examines our every inch of skin for boo-boo's...just so she can kiss them.
6. how she wakes up so happy (most of the time) and i get to wake up to her singing each morning
7. how she delicately takes care of her baby doll: covering her with a blanket, feeding her "snacks" and taking her along in the baby doll stroller for our family walks. she has the most sweet, tender and caring nature. i definitely see a lot of my husband in ainsley. it melts my heart every time. every time. how amazing it is to go from walking our baby in the stroller, to seeing our baby push her own doll around. where has the time gone? i.must.stop.blinking.

and as my mind wanders, i just can't put into words all of the life lessons my sweet ainsley has taught me. you inspire me to be a better person. every day you remind me that we may not have much, but we have love. and a life filled with love is so worth living. you remind me to let go, live life, and that making messes can sometime result in something beautiful. you remind me to have patience and that silence is sometimes necessary but also a little boring. i am in awe of you...every single part of you. every day i thank my lucky starts for you and feel so lucky that you found your way to me.

it's amazing where life takes you. every situation, decision and all of the different roads i traveled on were bringing me exactly where i was meant to be...with you in my arms. many nights were spent wondering why is this happening to me? the moment the nurses laid you on my chest...it all made sense. that rainy thursday night, i never felt so whole. so in love. so content.

we have created many beautiful memories over the past two years. here's to many, many more. i love you, unconditionally, and always will. you taught me how to do that, too.

at birth (1 day old):

at one:

 and at two:

 
i love you sweet girl. xoxo.

and while i'm at it. here are some other pictures from our family session this fall:

a huge, big, loving thanks to www.alicaudill.com for capturing our family at our best :) xoxo.